The Only Thing More Powerful Than Hate is Love

This is an updated encore post from my past years of campaigning for a different kind of Feb. 14 festivity. In the name of blessed Aphrodite, let us reclaim this day of love in the true spirit of celebration, honoring the divine gift of all love. All pleasure. Consensual unions only, of every kind. And please consider reading the poem invocation below out loud. If you do, let me know what happens. Warmest merriments and blessings to you!  ~ Beth

Happy Aphrodite’s Day!

O, Aphrodite! Heavenly, illustrious, laughter-loving queen, sea-born, night-loving, of awful mien; crafty, from whom Ananke first came; producing, nightly, all-connecting dame.

‘Tis thine the world with harmony to join, for all things spring from thee, O power divine.
Orphic Hymn 55 to Aphrodite, composed sometime between the 3rd Century B.C.E. to 2nd C.E.

Felicitations and good wishes to all on this most ancient day of Love!

Yes, I know. The patriarchy calls it Valentine’s Day. But you see, for many years, I’ve been campaigning to reconsider whether we really want to align this day with a bunch of obscure martyred Christian priests named St. Valentine. I mean, come on. Look where that’s gotten us.

Instead of a day that is steeped in our culture’s fascination with death, conquest, violence, conflicted sexuality, and tragic love, I prefer to celebrate the gifts of powerful Aphrodite, whose focus is on the life-affirming joy, sanctity, and pleasure of the erotic.

Pre-Christian Origins

The Parentalia, an eight-day Roman festival honoring dead ancestors, was celebrated at this time. All temples were closed, no marriages took place, and government officials did not show their rank. People visited the graves of their parents and other relatives, bringing offerings of milk, wine, honey, oil, and spring water.

Sunset tonight is the time that would have begun the portion of the Parentalia called the Lupercal. This is a day of fertility dedicated to Juno-Lupa, the Goddess Juno in the guise of Mother She-Wolf. Of course, Juno is also considered the Roman version of Hera, Goddess of wise counsel, love, and marriage.

Women’s pleas for children were granted by Her, which is how She may be linked to the origins of Valentine’s Day. The custom of sending love notes may have originated from the practice of casting lots to draw the names of partners during these celebrations.

(Later the Church tried to abolish this practice, suggesting that the names of saints be substituted, but as the beloved, late Waverly Fitzgerald once noted, unsurprisingly, it was not a hit).

Celtic Parallels

Coincidentally (or perhaps not), according to some interpretations of the Celtic calendar, today is also the holy day when Arianrhod was ordered to step over the magical truth-discerning wand of Her uncle, Math, to prove Her virginity.

Some Neo-Pagans also celebrate this day as the wedding between Danu, Mother of the Land and Cernnunos, God of Nature and the cycles of Life.

But because this day fell during such an important and well-documented festival time for honoring the Greek Goddess of Love, for many years I have called for us to reclaim this holiday in the name of Aphrodite.

History of the Love Goddess

There are many incarnations of this great Olympian Goddess of pleasure, joy, beauty, love, and procreation. Her power transcends culture and time. She is known as “Aphrodite Marina,” “Maiden of the Sea,” “Aphrodite Urania,” and simply the “Goddess of Love.” Her Roman identity is Venus.

Although one of the most widely recognized of the Greek Goddesses, She probably did not originate in Greece, but was originally an aspect of a mature Goddess that came from the sea traders of the eastern Mediterranean. Some scholars believe that Aphrodite is a version of the older Goddess, Astarte.

Of course, Aphrodite is well known for Her love affairs, which were numerous and rather spectacular, and resulted in many offspring, including Her son, Eros. Her most notable lovers were the Gods Ares, Dionysius, Hermes, Poseidon, and the mortal, Adonis.

Venus Aphrodite has been categorized as a Maiden Goddess, but the popular notion of the Maiden-Mother-Crone archetype of the Divine Feminine would not have been recognized by the ancients. And certainly they would have been bewildered about where She “fit,” since compartmentalizing Her in such a narrow way would border on sacrilege.

The Maiden-Mother-Crone idea is not an ancient tradition, but a construct attributed to Robert Graves in his 1948 work, The White Goddess. He proposed a universal Muse/Goddess, based on his interpretation of the three main stages of a woman’s life, as well as the phases of the Moon.

This idea has caught on in many neo-Pagan revivals, but it obviously overlooks the countless women who are mature but unpartnered, or who never bear children, or the many other ways women’s lives defy such simplistic categorization. In his system, Aphrodite might be considered a Maiden, not because she is pre-child bearing age, but because She is free of ties to marriage or relationship, and is not dependent on a lover or husband for Her power, identity, or security.

Nevertheless, this is a good example of how modern language is inadequate to convey the depth and complexity of this sovereign Being.

The Golden One

Although Aphrodite is beautiful and beloved by all the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus (no small feat in itself!), She is no wimp. She is very serious about honoring the gifts of love and sexuality and can be harsh against those who thwart or defile the natural flow in all living beings.

To punish Glaucus for refusing to let his mares breed, She caused the mares to throw him from his chariot during a race, after which they ate him. Moral of the story: do not trifle with Aphrodite!

I dread to think how She might deal with the many men in this culture gone mad who have been using their enormous power and influence to sexually assault children and teens. Apparently with few, if any, real consequences. If She is listening, I pray for Her swift, total response to their perversions and brutality.

On a more pleasant note, She is often known as “The Golden One.” She is worshiped with gifts and ornaments of gold, which, like Her eternal youth and beauty, never tarnish. Doves, snow geese, and lovebirds are also often associated with Her because of their gentle natures. She is a Goddess of flowers, as well.

The echoes of this day for honoring love and the choosing of partners have remained in folk customs and celebrations for thousands of years now, such as those in the Middle Ages, when people believed that birds chose their mates on this day.

In honor of the marriage of the birds, and for the favor of Aphrodite, you might wish to set out special treats for the birds on this day. Or join the annual, international Great Backyard Bird Count coming in a few days.

Of course, any other ways you may wish to celebrate this day are only limited to your imagination!

Rise for Freedom: For Our Bodies, Our Earth, Our Future

Today especially, let us reject the misogynist subtexts of the Valentine martyrs. Instead, embracing the messages of mighty Aphrodite, I once again ask you to join me in the One Billion Rising revolution.

Like most women, I have endured the bigotry, profanity, and even violence heaped on us just because we are female. In fact, one in every three girls and women on this planet — one billion women and girls — will be raped or assaulted in her lifetime.

(Although one would not have expected it to be at the hands of the President of the United States and his cronies. But here we are.)

Since my observances began a number of years ago, we have had many powerful breakthroughs. I give thanks to great Aphrodite that our prayers, courage, and struggles to change the systemic abuse, assault, and shaming of girls, women, and gender-fluid people were, at least for a little while, being heeded.

But that has changed with horrific speed. We are now up against an increasingly depraved system of patriarchy, tyranny, violence, and racism in our world today. One that I never, in my 70s, expected to see so dismayingly entrenched and rewarded at the highest levels.

The latest Center for Disease Control data (2023/2024) reports that:

• Nearly half of women (45.1%) in the United States experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetimes, with 21% reporting completed or attempted rape, 20.3% reporting sexual coercion, and 39% reporting unwanted sexual contact.
• More than 1 in 6 men (16.9%) in the U.S. experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetimes.
• This data does not include transgender and nonbinary individuals; individuals under the age of 18; and adults in institutional settings or those experiencing homelessness.

Who can know if the beleagured CDC will even be able to continue this research. But, in the name of Aphrodite, we can each make a stand.

This must not be ignored. We are rising up because, like it or not, we are engaged in a destructive, all-out battle for control of the bodies of trans- and cisgender women. And it is intimately entangled with the late-stage capitalist, patriarchal exploitation and violation of the body of our Mother Earth.

Taking Back Our Sovereignty

We can and must effect change. Educate yourself as to who, both politically and in our consumer culture, actually supports the causes that matter to us.

And pay attention to who does not.

Spread the word to your sisters and allies, join together in unity, and starve the power of those who continue to harm us!

With the midterms looming, our active participation is needed more than at any other time in living memory. Let’s expedite a career change for the scum who are gutting medical coverage, overturning basic rights, stealing our resources, shredding public school money in favor of their elite, private enclaves, and who don’t have a clue about women’s bodies and women’s choice.

A Manifesta

In the name of Aphrodite, this year I again declare:

Women’s bodies are holy. We are not ashamed. We will not hide who we are.

Our bodies belong only to us. We are not commodities. Our sexuality is a divine gift, and we share it only when and with whom we please.

We are sacred and have a right to education and safety. The entrenched culture of tolerance for violence, misogyny, intimidation, and exploitation must change.

I suggest that we sidestep further conflict by obeying Aphrodite’s directive that we recognize as good and blessed the erotic forces within ourselves and all of life. That we honor our bodies and claim our power to determine how our bodies are treated.

And then amplify loving-kindness in every way that we can. Because Love wins.

And every day, especially on this celebratory day, strut your stuff, whatever your gender may be, and be glad of your sacred sexuality! Enjoy this day of beautiful liberation and celebration.

Live as if the Love in you matters.

All acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals.

Blessings this Aphrodite’s Day.

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