May we be receptive to your supreme intelligence and become strong.
~ The Samaveda
In July, we are now poised to enter into our conversations about the themes that are ruled by the Seventh House. But first, a slight detour, if you will indulge me.
For the past week or so, I have been somewhat surprised to find that I am on becalmed waters.
Not because of a lack of things to do. On the contrary, I should be busy gearing up for the Fall launch of my next series of classes, both in-person and through teleconferencing. I have a deadline looming for my next article for The Meta Arts Magazine, preparations for my teaching session I’ll be leading with the Gaian Tarot Circle in a couple of weeks, and a myriad of other tasks and projects sitting on my desk. Some of them fairly urgent.
And yet…nothing seems to be happening. Is this the dreaded resistance? Self-defeating procrastination? Depression?
I told myself, okay.. Maybe I just needed to take a few days off around the Independence Day holiday. I did.
Then maybe I could do some long-term strategizing for the coming year or two, as I am very definitely feeling some fundamental shifting going on in my practice and how I intend to serve in these changing times in which we find ourselves.
And with the appearance of The Magician this week, I thought – okay! Here we go!
But instead, I still find myself on hold. I find myself dragging my feet, in maintenance mode only; not really wanting to start anything new. I sit down to my planning worksheets .. and I turn away. Instead, I feel a deep hush inside my spirit, as if waiting for something.
And what’s funny about this, is that during this same past week or so, my friends and my clients have been echoing the same theme:
Can’t seem to get the old engine to turn over… None of my customers seem to want to come back from out-on-holiday mode… Indecisiveness… Absent-mindedness… Seem to have lost my motivation and drive… Things feel flat… Stale… No one is returning my calls, and frankly, I am relieved…
How about you? Do you feel a sort of stasis right now? Is it just me and a dozen or so people who have confided in me, while everyone else is in high gear? Is it just lazy Summertime? Or something else?
Here’s what I am coming to believe, having heard the exact same theme at least three more times from different people yesterday alone:
I didn’t think the first two of the recent eclipses impacted me all that much, especially compared to how they clobbered some of my dearest friends. Sure, I felt .. something.. but nothing dramatic.
But the one last Friday? Maybe it was the cumulative effect, combined with the others, or maybe it was because of the double Cancer (Sun and Moon in Cancer) influence, since my Sun sign is Cancer.
But it felt exactly like a complete re-boot of my systems. And I am still waiting for everything to come back online. What I am pretty sure of is this: this shutdown and restart was a part of a complete system upgrade. (Can you tell what a computer geek I still am, even in my old age??) .
I am eager to see how my new operating system is going to function, and already I am seeing some new features and enhancements that look pretty exciting.
But it’s not time to test-drive just yet. The whole package is still firing up.
I’ll have some more to say about this tomorrow, including how I think The Magician (which is my Soul card, by the way) fits into this.
I hope you don’t mind these personal confessions, before taking on the next House discussions. Thanks for hanging in here with me.