Inspiring Enchantment & Illumination with Tarot & Intuitive Guidance

Children in the Fifth House

The Fifth House in astrology is the House that reflects our relationships with children.  This includes our own biological children, as well as how the parent/child relationship plays out in our lives.

Most of us recognize that, for better or worse,  how we were parented will forever impact how we rear our children.  This is one of the themes that can be illuminated in the Fifth House.

One of the most controversial events in the long, long career of advice columnist Ann Landers was her poll in 1975-76, asking parents whether, if they had it all to do over again, they would still have had children.  To her shock, of the 10,000 responses she received (mind you, this was before email — every single response was a hand-written letter or card), a whopping 70% said, no.  They would not have had kids.

Since then, it has been proven that from a statistical and scientific viewpoint, there were huge flaws in this survey, especially the questionable framing of the question, and the sampling used. For instance, when Good Housekeeping magazine solicited their readers to voice their opinions in response, unsurprisingly, 95% wrote to defend parenting.

Still, it’s a fair question, and one that many couples struggle with.

I had always imagined I would have lots of kids, as I love children and tend to prefer their company at parties, etc., when given a choice.  But being a mother was not in the cards for me, and there are many reasons now, in my elderhood, that I am at peace that this has been the case.

What about you?  Do you have children?  Was this a conscious decision for you?  If so, how did you decide?  Would you do it all over again?  Please feel free to post.

Tomorrow, as is usual on the weekends, I’ll share some thoughts that have been offered from more well-known viewpoints.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • May 27, 2011, 1:53 pm donna

    Conscious decision, decided to have only two since I was a third child and felt I had been ignored in many ways, and I think kids need a lot of attention to rise to their full potential. I married someone as intelligent as I am and decided the world needed more smart kids. ;^) I see too many of our friends without kids, and regret the loss of their intelligence to the world.

    So we’re adding a computer scientist and a biochemist to the mix. Hope they do some good in the world…

  • May 27, 2011, 5:42 pm Mariele

    Your series on the houses of astrology and there meaning has been very helpful to me. Astrology always seemed to be inaccessible to me – don’t know why. Your blogs have really illuminated the houses. Are you thinking of expanding your blogs into a book? If you aren’t, you should.

  • May 27, 2011, 6:37 pm Jo

    Like you I would like to have had children but it wasn’t to be. I have a few regrets but when I realise what a huge responsibility they are and the financial cost these days of raising their children perhaps there was a reason for me not being a mother.

  • May 27, 2011, 8:05 pm judy

    Yes, I had children. Yes, they were conscious choices. And yes, I would do it again.. even tho’ I wasn’t terribly happy with their father. I adore them and they me. And although I met some wonderful men after I got divorced and as much as I adore my grandchildren in the most cliche of ways… my son and daughter will always be the loves of my life!!

  • May 28, 2011, 1:53 am Athene Noctua

    Am blessed w/ 2 children. One of each gender. They were wanted and planned for, and I must admit the number of college education adults I know who’s children were-accidents or surprises appalls. Along w/ people who have kids, ’cause it’s the thing they are supposed to do, w/o thinking through what being a parent is really like. Had a co-worker who told me it was nice I knew I liked kids before I had them, she had 2 kids at the time. I asked why she had hers, and she said because that what was married people were supposed to do. Ironically, she divorced her first 2 kids dad, then remarried in her late 30’s, and had 2 more kids. She seems to be enjoying parenthood the second time around.

    Even though I always knew I wanted children, being a parent is a harder and more difficult then I ever anticipated or expected. Also, for parents there is little training or support. I loved when my kids were at a tribal head start. They actually had parenting classes and support groups, and it was nice to know you weren’t the only parent out there wondering if you were doing it all right or screwing your kids up for life. There are days when I miss sleeping in or having extra money to spend on myself, but I can not imagine my life w/o them.

    Yes, I would totally do it all over again, perhaps w/ a different father, since the marriage didn’t last. Also, I would take more time to enjoy them and stress less about whether the house was clean, etc.

  • May 28, 2011, 10:32 am Donna L. Faber

    I always knew I wanted a child, I just wasn’t sure how. When I met my partner, Leslie, she and I knew we wanted children, but still I couldn’t see my way to it. As it turned out, I had trouble conceiving, and if I didn’t have to use reproductive services and a sperm donor, I probably would never have conceived (conventionally, that is).

    Motherhood was a conscious choice for me. I was never forced into it for any reason before I was ready. My own mother’s early motherhood proved to be a disaster; that’s a whole other story. By the time I got pregnant, I was READY and WANTED a baby, and when I was pregnant, I had never ever felt more purposeful or closer to the goddess. It was wonderful.

    The child I gave birth to came to us, her two moms, on a full moon, and on her first day of life, she pushed herself up on her elbows and looked her mom right in the face. My daughter is a self-empowered little Aries, and she is our greatest teacher. She is a reflection of my behaviors, and through this she teaches me. She has reservoirs of strength, even just at 14, that I find amazing. She more than holds her own in a family of bodacious women. She’s also proved that you don’t have to give birth to your children. Sometimes they simply come to you.

    Times are different, and women should have more choices. I am convinced that some women should not be mothers, but still children are brought into the world for cultural, traditional or religious reasons. And events like the dismantling of planned parenthood make this even sadder.

    But still … I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world.

  • May 28, 2011, 11:17 am Diana

    I have Pluto in my 5th house and am childless by choice. When my ex left after finishing grad school, just at the time I was going to suggest we start a family, I considered myself very lucky that I had no biological tie to him. My drive to reproduce went back to zero, where it had been since I hit puberty. My own childhood was full of disruption and dislocation. Perhaps it’s no wonder that I adopt adult kitties who wander up to my door or are abandoned by their first families.

    Astrologer George Ward also attributes ritual to the 5th House. Pluto manifests strongly in that realm, too.

  • May 28, 2011, 11:56 am Maggie

    I loved reading all the posts about the Fifth House and Children. I don’t know a great deal about astrology but my Fifth House is a bit empty. Alas I am an only child. Growing up I imagined a large family and waited for the Simplicity pattern books at Sears to age out so I could ask for the discard ones. I would cut out children and have a large paper dolly family. In the 60’s my thought was to be a part of a commune or enter the Little Sisters of the Poor; I think to become a part of a larger community of like-minded friends sharing resources and interests so maybe children were not my focus at that time. I did later have children of my own and took care of other children and family members along with way. So my wish came true. I was blessed with a very large “family” that came into and out of my life at different times. I am grateful to my family; we were able to learn, love, cry, and grow with each other. So I guess I filled my Fifth House. It is now a house filled with memories, fun, children, and family.
    Peace and Blessings,

  • May 28, 2011, 12:10 pm Libelula

    I’ve a friend who was studying astrology awhile ago (I know nothing of the practice) and did my chart. Looking at it now I have nothing for the fifth house? (I wonder if she forgo, or if is empty… or I’m misreading of course.)

    I have two children by choice. Two feels right at this time though we have considered more. It is a bit funny, I grew up “knowing” I did not want biological children and then basically one day I just changed my mind after being married for several years (my husband did want them but did not care if they were biological or adopted.) Within a month I was pregnant. I had never even held a baby until my son was born. Now if feels this sacred duty and path I have chosen, motherhood, is the most natural and fulfilling thing in the world. I love that.

  • May 28, 2011, 12:44 pm Johanne

    I have 6 planets in the 5th house, including my Scorpio Sun…I AM the 5th house! 😉

    Coming from a family of 4 children, I always knew that I would have kids. We have 4 children under 11, 2 girls, a boy and another girl. Yes, I would do it all over again!

    But, I think kids are wonderful when you do want them. I’ve heard so many mothers complaining about their kids, in front of their kids. I know a mother who had children because she thought is was the “thing to do”, and it was not a good experience.

    I would not have gotten to 4 kids without an kick ass husband who is a great partner, that makes all the difference too!

    Motherhood has given me much, but especially patience and a great sense of humour! I have grown a lot as a person, and learn from my kids everyday. I am honoured that they chose me as their mother, and that we can grow together in this life.

  • May 28, 2011, 1:06 pm Karen

    My 5th house is empty, never thought about it having an affect on my having kids.

    When I married my 1st husband his 2 youngest came to live with us. I had done a lot of baby sitting in my teen years, and wondered how “hard it could be to raise a 2 year old boy & 4 year old girl?” OMG was I naive! It was very hard! They had so much emotional baggage from their parent’s dysfunctional marriage that it was a challenge every day. Two years into the marriage his very troubled 13 year old boy came to live with us too.

    My husband pretty much checked out of being a parent and I had my hands full being a full time mom plus working full time. A few years later things were finally starting to come together with the kids when my husband left me for another woman.

    Years later when I married my 2nd husband we talked long and hard about having kids. He was ambivalent and I had always assumed I would have kids, but now that I was in my mid 30’s and going back to college, and he was in his mid 40’s I really didn’t think I’d have the energy to do it justice. After having to work full time raising step kids I thought if I ever do this again, I want to stay home to raise them, at least until they are in school. My husband was a school teacher not making much, and the thought of being poor again with kids did not sound too appealing either. If we had met when I was younger I probably would have had kids, but since we were pushing 40 & 50 we decided not to.

    We have a lot of nieces and nephews and I love being an aunt. Some times I have a small regret that we did not have kids, but I think it was the right decision for this lifetime.

    My step daughter tracked me down after she got married and had her son. She wrote me the sweetest letter thanking me for all I had done as her step mom, that I had done more for her than either of her parents. So now even though I didn’t have biological kids, I still get to be “mom” and “grandma”. She’s grown up into a wonderful adult (in spite of her parents & multiple other step-moms) and has done a fabulous job with her son.

  • May 28, 2011, 2:59 pm Beth

    Powerful, beautiful stories here.. I have tears in my eyes ..

    You who have them have some lucky, lucky kids! This is all really pulling at my heartstrings.

    Any dads here?

  • May 30, 2011, 10:46 am Miki

    Having come from an abusive household filled with mental illness and addiction I decided to terminate pregnancies in my 20s and 30s. My vow was to only have children if I had a stable household to bring them into. The prospective fathers were both musicians in a band and heavy drinkers (I know, poor choices in my youth!) and unbeknownst to me I was heading toward the same mid-life depression that my mother suffered from. Now that I’m healed I’m very glad I didn’t put a child through the growing-up years that I had. Wouldn’t you know it–I have Chiron in my fifth house!