More directly from Julia today.
“There is a connection,” she writes, “between self-nurturing and self-respect. If I allow myself to be bullied and cowed by other peoples’ urges for me to be more normal or more nice, I sell myself out. They may like me better, feel more comfortable with my more conventional appearance or behavior, but I will hate myself. Hating myself, I may lash out at myself and others.
“If I sabotage my artist, I can well expect an eating binge, a sex binge, a temper binge. Check the relationship between these behaviors for yourself. When we are not creating, artists are not always very normal or very nice – to ourselves or to others.
“Creativity is oxygen for our souls. Cutting off our creativity makes us savage. We react like we are being choked.”
She tells us that even the most well-meaning attempts at fixing-up, even by those who care about us, can trigger real rage. It is stifling and toxic to be nit-picked. We get pressured to get married, have kids, or look and live a certain way, because that is what all responsible good citizens are supposed to do. Some of those choices may be perfect for us. But if we find ourselves following someone elses’ script, just remember — been there, done that; that’s why we are in creative recovery in the first place!
If we are pushed towards a life that doesn’t encourage our art to evolve and thrive, sooner or later, she warns, “..we will react as if we are fighting for our lives – we are…
“If you are happier writing than not writing, painting than not painting, singing than not singing, acting than not acting, directing than not directing, for God’s sake (and I mean that literally) let yourself do it.
“To kill your dreams because they are irresponsible is to be irresponsible to yourself. Credibility lies with you and the Divine One – not with a vote from your friends and acquaintances.”
Now here’s the kicker, and I hope you will spend lots of quality time exploring this in your morning pages:
The Creator made us creative. Our creativity is our gift from the God/dess. Our use of it is our gift back to the God/dess. Accepting this bargain is the beginning of true self-acceptance.