We have arrived at the end of Chapter Seven and will be doing some exercises to celebrate and solidify our work here. This chapter has been about re-establishing our personal, intimate sense of connectedness to Divine Creative Source. I am so in awe of the deep, courageous work you are doing and which some of you have shared. Clearly, it is painful at times, but simultaneously it can trigger the epochal breakthroughs you are also experiencing.
And we also have some folks who are just now joining us. Welcome! I am so glad you are here.
Before we continue, I would like to say that for those who feel stuck, or even overwhelmed in the wandering pathways of cataloguing old sorrows, losses and hurts, I would urge you to review how you are working with the morning pages. Truly, having now done this work for the 3rd time, I am convinced that morning pages are, for most of us, not optional.
Morning pages are a ritual way of opening to that very Source that we are trying to heal and restore a clear connection to. They are a form of prayer that is specifically designed to help our inner artist self dialogue with Creator Herself. Maybe words are not what your pages should be. Maybe doodles and drawings. But showing up at the page every day (with very rare exceptions) is vital.
As you develop a morning pages practice, and it does take committed practice, you will discover the conversations there begin to have a voice other than your Talking Self.
Yes, it is absolutely necessary to have a place where Talking Self can whine, complain, and do a core dump of the inner junk, and the pages are fantastic for this. But they also open up a channel for listening.
Morning pages can be, in fact, a reliable, deeply intimate form of personal divination.
One fine day, perhaps right in the middle of an ornate, elegant pity party (oh, honey, do I know how to throw these!) or perhaps some absolutely justified, impassioned diatribe about your latest run-in with that colossally annoying jerk that has done it to you again… something will shift. You will hear a whisper, or maybe your hand will actually move across the page, writing with a life of its own.
It might be something to the effect of “There now, sweet sugarbuns. You are right, that was monstrous, and I think you need to go and have a bubble bath right this minute. Don’t you worry your precious head one more second about that so-and-so. Relax and let Me handle the karmic payback for you.” Yes, this can happen.
Or perhaps even more likely and just as delicious, it might be a sudden step-back where you notice how clever your rant is, and if you tweaked this bit here, and that little bit there – well, Dorothy Parker herself would applaud! And suddenly, your inner artist is grinning right at you!
So dearest, brave travelers on this journey, if you are feeling stuck in barren shadowlands of grief and anger, I would urge you to write it out, paint it out, sing it out, dance it out, and trust your pages. The morning pages are faithful to you if you are faithful to them. On the precipices of despair especially, they can save your neck!
So our first exercise is a message that your morning pages will surely have been at least hinting to you. Today, we will put it into explicit words that will become a mantra:
Watercolor this message; paint it; write it in Sharpie calligraphy; print it out in the coolest font on your system. Make it bold, put it somewhere that you’ll see it every single day. Stick copies of it in places you’ll find it when you are vulnerable (like in your wallet when you have to pull out money).
Julia writes, “We tend to think being hard on ourselves will make us strong. But it is cherishing ourselves that gives us strength.”
I couldn’t agree more. It is time to put a stop to taking our little sips of poison, the subtle punishments we inflict on ourselves, re-creating old poverty and abuses, our child-self wounding and neglect.
Instead, how can you treat yourself as a precious object, starting today?