No doubt about it – the anger that flares up when our artist self first re-awakens can be scary. To see all the ruin, lost time, the hurt we’ve ignored, the ways we’ve endured imprisonment and loss of our powerful identities – yes, it’s painful and can be infuriating.
Which is why Julia warns us that this step in our recovery is one fraught with drama and sharp spikes of emotional ups and downs. But besides anger, there are other parts of our recovery that might be even more frightening.
As spiritual people (as most of my readers are!), we are used to working with energy, prayer, intention and magic. Yet one of the most shocking things that can happen, even after all these years of practice, is to have our most secret, personal prayers answered.
We’re used to seeing the Goddess work in mysterious ways. But it can be very disconcerting when She responds to us unveiled — powerfully, clearly and quickly. So often, we’re more comfortable calling answered prayers “synchronicity” or “coincidence.”
Julia gives some interesting examples:
* A woman admits to her long-buried dream of acting. At dinner the next night, she sits beside a man who teaches beginning actors.
* A writer acknowledges a dream to go to film school. A single exploratory phone call connects him with a professor who knows and admires his work and promises him that the last available slot is now his.
* A woman is thinking about going back to school and opens her mail to find a letter requesting her application from the very school she was thinking of.
* A woman wonders how to rent a rare film she has never seen. She finds it at her neighborhood bookstore two days later.
It can be very disconcerting to have our most delicate, tentative explorations being suddenly responded to with a shove and a loud YES!!!
As deeply faithful as we may be, in general, it is still hard to receive a direct, personal response to our heart’s private longings. Are we crazy? Is this really happening? Just a coincidence?
To feel, not only affirmation from the Universe, but like we’re being yanked right off of our feet – this is what we most hope for, and yet fear as well. After all, it means we are, to a great extent, responsible.
Julia writes, “People talk about how dreadful it would be if there were no God. I think such talk is hooey. Most of us are a lot more comfortable feeling we’re not being watched too closely.”
What do you believe? Have you ever experienced the sensation that there is personal Divine assistance available to you? What prayers do you long to have answered? Are there any that you fear will be heard?