Inspiring Enchantment & Illumination with Tarot & Intuitive Guidance

Identifying Crazymakers

When you get enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, it’s almost impossible for you to be controlled or manipulated by anyone else.
— Dr. Wayne Dyer

At this stage of our recovery process, we are having to face the not-so-pleasant facts of assessing exactly where we are, and who (and what) have contributed to our being blocked as artists and creatives.

Yes, this is tough stuff, especially when we may recognize that some of the people who put our dreams at greatest risk are people with whom we are intimately connected. Let’s gently continue to clarify who the crazymakers in our lives might be. Knowing what we’re dealing with is more than half the battle.

Crazymakers spend your time and money. Julia writes, “If they borrow your car, they return it with an empty tank. Their travel arrangements always cost you time or money.” They’re the ones that demand you drop whatever you’re doing and pick them up at the airport because they don’t have, or care to spend taxi money.

Crazymakers triangulate those they deal with. Hoo, boy do I know this one. I have several world-class crazymakers in my family, and they are all champions at this. These are the energy vampires that some of you mentioned earlier this week. They love to pit people against each other and create strife, which they then feed off of, and which deflects the spotlight of responsibility from them.

Julia writes, “Because crazymakers thrive on energy (your energy), they set people against one another in order to maintain their own power position dead center. (That’s where they can feed most directly on the negative energies they stir up).

“’So-and-so was telling me you didn’t get to work on time today,’ a crazymaker may relay. You obligingly get mad at so-and-so, and miss the fact that the crazymaker has used hearsay to set you off kilter emotionally.”

Can you think of recent episodes where this has happened to you? This tactic is also closely associated with another crazymaker technique, namely..

Crazymakers are expert blamers. Nothing that goes wrong is ever their fault, and to hear them tell it, the fault is usually yours. They are perpetual victims of circumstance, conspiracies, evil-doers, and star-crossed fate. They are, they would have you believe, innocent bystanders to the disasters that trail behind them wherever they go. And speaking of disasters —

Crazymakers create dramas – but seldom where they belong. Since crazymakers are often themselves blocked creatives, they hate your attempts at being creative. “It makes them jealous,” Julia warns. “It makes them threatened. It makes them dramatic – at your expense. Devoted to their own agendas, crazymakers impose these agendas on others… whatever matters to you becomes trivialized into mere backdrop for the crazymaker’s personal plight. ‘Do you think he/she loves me’ they call you to ask, when you are trying to pass the bar exam or get your husband home from the hospital.’”

Crazymakers hate schedules – except their own. “In the hands of a crazymaker, time is a primary tool for abuse.” Just when we have finally carved out a block of time for ourselves, the crazymaker will suddenly, mysteriously have a crisis at precisely that moment, needing our energy and attention, immediately. Similarly,

Crazymakers hate order. Chaos serves their purpose,” Julia explains. “When you begin to establish a place that serves you and your creativity, your crazymaker will abruptly invade that space with projects of his/her own. Last but not least…

Crazymakers deny that they are crazymakers. The minute you point out their sabotage, or broken promises, they will counter with a vicious attack. It is never their fault, they will respond. It is the fact that you are a lousy mother, sex partner, disorganized, no-talent, selfish.. well, take your pick of abuse.

Not pretty. So for the weekend, I leave you with this question to ponder. It is a tough one, but one that we must ask ourselves and be honest about, if we are going to really make changes:

If crazymakers are that destructive (and I hope you get it, at this point, that they really, really are), then why on earth are we involved with them?

Please continue to be extra gentle with yourself, realizing that this is one of the most challenging, painful parts of our recovery process, but one that we really must not shirk. Next week, we’ll talk about our answers to these questions, and we’ll start building some strategies to gently, powerfully heal the damage.

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  • March 27, 2009, 2:04 pm Anonymous

    what you describe in this post is a sociopath.

  • March 27, 2009, 2:12 pm Anonymous

    Yes, with narcissistic traits

  • March 27, 2009, 3:17 pm Beth Owl's Daughter

    Interesting. Well, I am not qualified to diagnose or guess at any kind of mental illness, nor is this an attempt to do so. Honestly, I don’t know if what you say is true.

    (Wouldn’t all sociopaths have narcissistic traits?)

    Anyway, I would agree that if one person was showing ALL those behaviors regularly — yes, that would be seriously scary.

    Hopefully, the crazymakers in our lives are not certifiably, dangerously mentally ill, although it certainly is possible (I know from my own experience).

    Instead, I would suggest that most of our crazymakers are people that specialize in one or two of these behaviors.

    Is that your experience?
    – Beth

  • March 27, 2009, 7:34 pm Thalia

    Yes, I would say that the behaviour you're describing (or that Julia is describing) pretty much falls under abuse. The never taking responsibility, the assumption that they are entitled to your time, energy, money, &c, the need to dominate conversations and manipulate others' lives–all abusive, at least emotionally. And I suspect that if one of these behaviours is present, the others are to some degree, because it's connected to the person's world-view and way they have learned to get results. With some good old-fashioned narcissism thrown in, I agree. (Not that I'm qualified to diagnose, either, but I have a few narcissistic people in my life and recognize the type.)

    At least the person I used to know whom this description fits to an absolute T (and who is now very much out of my life) was also abusive, and the behaviours were all wrapped up together.

    I wonder, though. We as a culture tend to downplay abuse, or try to explain it away as something else; we are reluctant to recognize it, I think, both because it is far more prevalent than we might think, and also because we are often closely involved with abusive people and don’t want to believe it. So when I see abusive behaviours (and I am having a hard time seeing these descriptions as anything else) given a name like ‘crazymakers,’ which is, honestly, a bit on the ‘cutesy’ side, I get a little concerned.

    Also, abusive people aren’t particularly mentally ill. They may make us crazy, but there is a solid logic to what they do, and they are perfectly aware of it.

  • March 28, 2009, 4:03 am ARIE

    Very intersting post regarding the crazymakers. So is this discussion.
    I would like to see this from another angle.
    If I am balanced, aware and not wasting my own energy then I can identify these energy suckers and not allow them to affect me.
    But if I spend my own energy on unnecessary and unpleasant emotions, on the expectation of unpleasant things, possible and impossible, on bad moods, unnecessary haste, nervousness, irritability, imagination, daydreaming and so on. If my energy is wasted on the wrong work of centers (intellectual, emotional, motoric and instinctive stealing energy from each other and making me exausted at the end of the day; on unnecessary tension of the muscles out of all proportion to the work produced; on perpetual chatter which absorbs an enormous amount of energy; on the “interest” continually taken in things happening around me or to other people and having in fact no interest whatever, then my energy field is weak and becomes an easy prey for these energy vampires.
    Energy Vampires can unconciously (most of them are not really aware on what they are doing)sense whether someone is a victim or someone to leave alone. If I am centered, aware and controling my energy these creatures will take distance from me.
    But if these vampires will not easily retreat and then if I’m aware I can shape shift and deal with them.
    What I’m trying to say is that I first need to work on myself in order be able to counter crazymakers. I need to save my own energy.
    For example do you think any master crazymaker whould be able to affect the Dahli Lama?
    Spring Blessings.
    Love and Peace

  • March 28, 2009, 4:08 am ARIE

    Also it is OK to say NO.

  • March 28, 2009, 8:39 am freak22

    I have to agree with Arie because I was just thinking about how to some degree you have to let a crazymaker take your energy from you.

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    Eleanor Roosevelt
    US diplomat & reformer
    (1884 – 1962)

    This has always been a very true statement from my point of view. Even if you are not aware of doing it on some level you have to give over that energy to a crazymaker in your life for them to be able to upset you.

    I am very proud of my self this morning because until I read this post I had not realized I had gotten rid of a crazymaker that had followed me for many years. I had not noticed because she slowly disappear once I stopped giving her the drama she needed.

    I loved Arie's question at the end "For example do you think any master crazymaker whould be able to affect the Dahli Lama?"

    (by the way I have been following and working on our journey to revive our inner creativity the entire time, I've just been to shy to post before but this topic really meant something to me.)

  • March 28, 2009, 2:31 pm Beth Owl's Daughter

    Thanks for coming out of your shyness to speak up, Heather! Your words are powerful, and right on the mark.

    In fact, this is exactly where we’re going with this next week! Y’all are Wa -a -aay ahead of the curve! 🙂

    – Beth

  • March 28, 2009, 5:59 pm Thalia

    I don’t know. I mean I do believe that if you change your own energy then the way other people react to you will of necessity change; also I believe that abusive people do sense who will work as a victim and who won’t.

    However, I am really leery of the idea that if we change the way we present ourselves to the world then we won’t attract abusive, crazymaking people. Key word there: attract. Because that implies that the victim is in some way responsible for the bad behaviour of another. And that idea leads to all kinds of nasty places, like, well, she was asking for it what did she expect wearing a short skirt like that? That might seem extreme but underneath I think it’s the same attitude, just to differing degrees. So I’m leery.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:38 am joanna brightbrook

    “Also, abusive people aren’t
    particularly mentally ill.”

    Thalia —

    I must respecfully disagree. Anyone who can intentionally abuse another person is most certainly ill: mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

  • March 30, 2009, 10:48 am joanna brightbrook

    “Because that implies that the victim is in some way responsible for the bad behaviour of another.”

    I agree with you here, but feel that there is a nuance to recognize.

    A victim is NOT responsible for the harm done to him or her.

    But, those of us who see ourselves as microcosmic beings containing and reflecting all that is are NOT victims. So when we are confronted by negative stuff around us we see it as manifestations of our inner negative stuff. This knowing becomes a tool for irradicating the negativity.

    The crazymakers who distract us from are creativity are manifestations of our own innner doubt, fear, etc. . .