Yesterday, I got to learn more about one of the subtle aspects of Grace, namely, grace under pressure. There’s nothing quite like stumbling out of bed and, instead of my cup of coffee to greet me, there is instead a little cat in extreme distress, needing an immediate trip to his specialist, who is about an hour’s drive away.
But of course, life is what happens while you’re making other plans. Bitsy is now home and doing better, by the way, but is on some really powerful drugs – that is, if we can drag him out of hiding when he is scheduled to take them.
It was a very difficult day in many ways, and doubtless, there will be more ahead. But when you have no choices, you just do what you have to do. I wish I could say I was completely graceful in my surrender to the moment. But, no, I did not smile airily and proceed with a spirit of welcoming this lesson, not by a long shot. We’ve already been enduring months of cat worries (we only have two, but sometimes it seems like twelve or more). So I was extremely concerned about my little one. Not panicked, but grim.
And yes, I was mentally running through the lists of things I was supposed to be doing instead. Bargaining with the clock, and trying to figure out if there would be time to get home, shower and eat. Would I even make it to the dentist, in my thrown-on clothes? And what about all my other appointments and obligations for the day? And of course, where was the money coming from, to pay for these very expensive treatments?
Well, I made it, and, although not with perfect grace, it was with a lot less drama than I would have in the past. I managed to get home, grab some breakfast, and even had time for a shower before dashing out the door again.
There was only one choice, and that was to surrender, and agree to only do the best I could in any given moment. In so doing, Time has once again proven to be my ally. And it brought with it a reminder about courage, which Ernest Hemingway tells us, is grace under pressure.