Over the past weeks I’ve been talking about how to understand money as a magical tool, for as our ancestors understood, it is a bridge between the Divine realms and the human ones.
To begin to honor and use money in our lives in this way, we must heal our own relationship with it. The final days of this discussion will be devoted to some specific ideas for how to do so.
First, this weekend, I would encourage you to find a quiet place and time when you won’t be disturbed. Give yourself about ten or fifteen minutes, at least. Then, simply sit down with paper and pen (not the computer), and allow yourself to enter a relaxed, trance-like state. Use your breathing, or soft music, or whatever usually helps you soften your consciousness and open your spirit.
As you are relaxing, let your thoughts consider this: What does money mean in your life? How were you introduced to money? What do you believe about its value? Its power to do harm? What have been your experiences with its scarcity or abundance? How much do you want or need it? Let these memories and thoughts begin to come to your attention without judgment, simply noticing them as textures and colors in the pattern of your experience of money. Breathe gently, deeply, and open your awareness.
When you are ready, begin to describe these impressions. Write down your feelings, memories, lessons, and thoughts about money. Do this without stopping, without editing, without pausing or even lifting your hand from the page. Keep your pen moving. Write rapidly, in stream of consciousness, even if stray thoughts off-topic want to come out. Write them, too. Just keep going and going, allowing your thoughts and feelings to pour straight through onto the paper.
Keep going for the full ten or fifteen minutes, longer if you are able. No one will ever see this – it is strictly between you and Spirit, so don’t hold back.
Automatic writing is a powerful technique for getting at thoughts, feelings and perceptions we may not always be conscious of, so it is important not to judge or edit as you write. Be as clear a channel as possible, letting it come through as it will.
You may notice deep emotions coming to the surface. That is important. Or you may feel very detached, while your hand seems to have a life of its own, writing thoughts and fantasies that you hardly recognize as your own. Again, this is valuable information for you.
When your time is completed, then you can go back and re-read what you have written. You may discover feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and fear. These are feelings nearly everyone has about money. There is nothing to be ashamed of. As I have pointed out, we are all carrying around centuries of pain and conflict about money.
Over the rest of the weekend, I would suggest that you take some additional time to journal some of the insights or questions that might have come up for you in this process. Is there new information here? How do these feelings and observations affect you day to day? Is this old business that has kept you stuck a long time, or has there been any new breakthrough of understanding?
Remember that this is not an exercise to magically wipe out a lifetime (or many lifetimes) of struggle about money. It’s just a start. Be gentle with yourself and be sure to reward yourself for taking this bold step: a bouquet of flowers, a bubble bath with the expensive soap, maybe a new paperback. You’ve bravely journeyed into areas that may hold old fears and sorrows. Now give yourself some tenderness and self-love.
You’re worth it, and you’ve certainly earned it. More suggestions for healing next week.