Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
from To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell (1681)
What perfect synchronicity! Now, in the height of the fertile, ripening Summer, we have drawn as our Card of the Week, The Lovers. As we discuss bliss, what more powerful experience of it is there than in our human sexual connection?
Bliss is a symphony of all the senses, but it depends on our dominant one. So if you are a visually dominant sensor, your sexual bliss surely has included a certain quality of the light as it plays on your lover’s body, the colors of the sheets, or in the shimmering sky above. You have memorized every tiny line or wrinkle in your beloved’s face, the changing hue of his or her eyes in different moods, and you may well close your eyes right this moment and see the first time you kissed.
If your lover‘s dominant sense is sight, you’ll want to make sure that you give some thought to staging the scene of your seductive play, including lighting, perhaps mirrors, special clothing, and other visual enhancements. See what happens if you lock eyes together as you make love.
As an auditory sensor, your sexual bliss will of course include all your senses, but you especially appreciate carefully chosen music or sounds, or the gurgling of a table fountain, the roar of the ocean, perhaps tinkling wind chimes, or drums. Speaking of drums, one of the favorite sounds you associate with sexual bliss may be the pounding of your beloved’s heart.
Auditory lovers want to be surrounded in the sounds of sex and of their lovers’ voice – in words, breath, and lots of noisy non-verbal cues of pleasure. Don’t be shy!
Sexual bliss for tactile sensors would seem obvious. But bliss is a cascade of many pleasures, subtle and not so, all at once. So yes, certainly, skin on skin is wonderful, but so is the sumptuousness of the setting, with lots of textures, scents, and tastes. Feeding one another with all the sensuous pleasures of, say, a ripe peach or strawberries, is heavenly for the tactile sensor.
Adventurous exploration of one another’s bodies is especially exquisite. For the tactile person, you’ll want to make sure you experiment with all the nuances of touch from feathers brushing, to as much roughness as both of you agree feels good.
The prerequisite for bliss is to be fully connected to our senses. And our sexuality is, ultimately, the primal creative life force itself. Whether we are in a relationship or not, we are sexual, sensual bodies. But sexuality is not the only route to bliss.
Whether you are sexually active or not, there is no reason why you can’t have more bliss in your life. Tomorrow, we’ll explore this in more detail.