Inspiring Enchantment & Illumination with Tarot & Intuitive Guidance

Jan. 9. 2007

An open door invites callers.

–Turkish proverb

One of the most frequent questions I am asked in my Tarot readings, is “When (or if) I will ever find my soul mate/true love/a happy marriage?” And the best answer for that, which the cards are so wonderful for helping people focus on, is – what do you offer such a person?

Yesterday, I wrote about how we can affect the energy in our “outer” lives by what the energy in our homes is like. Because whether we intend it or not, our homes are an energetic mirror of who we are, and like attracts like. This is the basic idea in feng shui, the Chinese art of placement, as well as countless other wisdom practices.

So it would be wise to ponder what sort of message your home is sending to the Universe regarding your readiness for a lover in your life. A cramped, heavily perfumed apartment with wall-to-wall fragile porcelain dolls and chintz covering every surface is very girly for you, but may not be so comfortable for most guys to stretch out and feel relaxed.

The bachelor pad covered in cheap posters, broken thrift store furniture, and floors cluttered with electronic gear and sports equipment may be fine if you’re fresh out of college and in your first apartment. But what kind of statement does this make about who you are, as an adult who is ready for a serious connection with someone special?

According to feng shui, the three places in your home that have the strongest impact on your love life are your bedroom, the “Relationship Area,” and the space around your front door. x The “Relationship Area” is determined based on which school of feng shui you are working with, and a number of other very personalized factors. So for now, I will simply say that if you would like to get a personal reading, in which a practitioner will develop your own individual ba-gua (a kind of feng shui grid for your home), there are many terrific feng shui experts and books available in almost every city.

Instead, let’s focus on first the front entrance and then the bedroom. (The same principles will apply for the Relationship Area, once you have determined where that is in your case).

The main entrance to your home is called “the Mouth of Qi” in feng shui, because it has the strongest influence on how energy flows into your home. You can’t nourish your body without opening your mouth to eat. Similarly, your home can’t receive fresh, vital Qi if the front door is blocked with clutter or rarely used. This will impact, not only your love life, but all the fortunes and energy for your home, and thus, your life.

So take a long, clear look at your front door. When was the last time you used your front door? Is there clutter in the way? Old dead plants sitting on the porch you haven’t gotten around to composting? Does it even open all the way?

The front door is associated with opportunities. If you’ve been trying to meet someone new without success, getting rid of the clutter around the front door and using that entry more often are a good way to shift that stuck energy. You may find that opportunities to connect with someone new come to your attention more often, and that you are more likely to take advantage of them instead of feeling so tired you’d rather stay home.

Or if you are already in a relationship, that cluttered front entry can be contributing to feelings of boredom and being stuck in a rut with each other. Opening the front door more widely and frequently is a good way to breathe new life into a less-than-exciting romantic connection.

Any door in your house that opens into a wall, instead of into free space will impede the energy flow. People in this situation often feel very stuck and as if they are constantly running into obstacles. If you can’t change how or where your doors open, a mirror can be placed on the wall opposite the door, so as to bring energy in. And do be sure to move any plants or tables that are behind your door out of the way, so that it can open wide, and is not constantly bumping into things. For this reflects how you open to and embrace life.

Also, if the entry to your house is somehow confusing, and people never know which door to use, this can create some chaotic, confusing energy in your relationships, as well. You may find yourself involved with people who are fickle, or noncommittal.

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